Reasons Why Ian Will NOT Be the Bachelor
If you recall, we left off last week with Ian telling Kaitlyn why she's terrible. I don't get it. If this guy wanted to be the next Bachelor he made some serious tactical mistakes. You'd think someone from Princeton should know better. Here are the issues:
1. Ian used Kaitlyn's rejection as an excuse to be rude.
2. People who are "deep" don't talk about being deep.
3. Bragging about Princeton while acting like this = Princeton is disowning you now.
4. You can't blame someone for being superficial and complain in the reject limo how you just need some action.
Kaitlyn stood up for herself well. The worst part was Ian saying he wanted to meet a woman who was crushed due to Chris. What kind of Rescuer Complex does this guy have? Any why bother complaining about qualities that Kaitlyn can't even change?!? If she's too superficial, being told she's superficial will NOT solve any issues. He should have just left gracefully. Ian shall be booed at Women Tell All.
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| Didn't take Manners 101 at Princeton |
Rose Ceremony at the Alamo
The problem with the rose ceremony cliffhangers is that we forget the names by the time Monday rolls around.
As a Canadian, I have no context for the Alamo. I'm glad Chris Harrison was stoked, but for me I'm just like: I know about snow and Tim Hortons and Texan history goes right over my head.
Already have roses: Nick the gatecrasher, Ben H. the boy next door, Shawn the trainer who smells nice.
Roses go to: Jared with the sparse beard, Chris the dentist who'd pull his tooth for a rose (AKA The Hangover dental move), JJ the less evil with Clint gone, Kentucky Joe, Ben Z. the large, and Tanner who is shocked he's kept around. We are shocked too, Tanner. But if there is a mass exodus next week, you may make it to the next European location! More on that later.
No roses for you: Justin of no airtime, and sorry 'ol welded-a-rose Joshua. I forgot that Joshua's hair was so awful. He should have buzzed off the half-hawk hairdo.
Kaitlyn and Nick and can't keep their hands off each other. Shawn, who IMHO, is a better catch/match is being driven bananas from being dethroned as a frontrunner.
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| You were robbed, dude |
Dublin All Over Each Other
Wherever this show travels, someone says: "X CITY is the BEST PLACE TO FALL IN LOVE!" This week, it's Dublin. The real answer is Paris is the best city to fall in love. Dublin is the best place to get a pint and hang out with a leprechaun.
The first and only one-on-one date goes to Nick. They watch buskers on the street and join some Irish dancers. The Irish are not impressed with Nick's dancing, as evidenced by this reaction:
The PDA (Public Display of Affection) score for this date was a 10 on 10. Pub, cathedral, Kaitlyn's hotel room - this date was the ultimate in touchy and slurpy. Nick and Kaitlyn are either staring at each other with weirdly suppressed smiles that annoy me incredibly, or they are attached at the mouth.
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| Snogging |
Something was going to happen and it happened. Like, everything, happened. And it all went down while some creepy cameraman stood outside and filmed a closed door. That is so weird.
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| Do Not Disturb |
Next morning, Nick casually walks out of Kaitlyn's room while Kaitlyn freaks out on the balcony. Nick meets back up with the guys and yadda yadda yaddas his date experience: "She freaked out from birds in the park, we went to a cathedral, I went back to her room, and yadda yadda yadda."
"Wake" Up and Realize this is a Bad Idea
Tanner, Ben Z., Shawn, Jared, Ben H. and Chris all look like a bunch of chumps on the group date. After the night Kailtyn just had, there is no way she can concentrate on these dudes. Kaitlyn pretends to be dead on this date. Metaphorically, this kind of makes sense. She's a goner once they find out what went on with Nick.
The idea for this date was that Kaitlyn pretends to be dead in a tiny skinny coffin while the men eulogize her, as if at a wake. How cruel to bring big Ben Z. on this date, who lost his mom as a kid. He was trying so hard to hold it together. Afterward the men say, "that was more fun than I expected" which is code for, "terrible idea for a date."
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| So weird |
The group rose goes to Jared who gets a private concert with Kaitlyn. Yay, it's the Cranberries, who sing that great 1993 song, Linger! I'm not being sarcastic, I love that song. Personally, I'm torn. On the one hand, this is my favourite group and song to be on this show ever. But I'm feeling really bad for the Cranberries that they are doing this cheesy concert. The singer looked a little embarrassed. Hard times in Dublin these days.
The lyrics of Linger make sense for this show: "You have me wrapped around your finger/Do you have to let it linger?" Kaitlyn probably already knows who she's picking (Nick or Shawn?) - the rest are subjected to the equivalent of a bandaid being pulled off verrrry sloooowly.
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| Closing her eyes because the reality's too awful |
Bad Things Ahead
Shawn feels that something's off. He felt like he was the frontrunner, and he was. Until Nick and his trying-hard-not-to-smirk-face showed up. Funny that we never heard Nick say that he is falling in love with Kaitlyn. Now that they've spent the night, I wonder if the chemistry will be dampened a bit.
Shawn's reaction is totally normal. He doesn't want to wait until the fantasy suite dates so he can be one of three, um, "night-spenders." Ya, this show makes zero sense. Shawn goes to Kailyn's room to see if he can get a little clarity. This cannot end well.
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| Same couch, new day |
I think that Kaitlyn is going to get a lot of flak for her actions in social media and elsewhere. It saddens me that there is a double standard for women. On previous seasons of the Bachelor, Clare was judged for her ocean time with Juan Pablo, and Courtney was judged for her ocean time with Ben. No one ever judges the guys. Let's not judge anyone. It's their bodies and they can do what they want with them. I'm even sorry to see Kaitlyn be so hard on herself. Kaitlyn is honest so she will want to tell the guys what happened, but it won't go over well. As if Juan Pablo was revealing his ocean escapades to the other women on his season.
Next week, every guy is either crying or storming off. I really hope that Kentucky Joe sticks around, he's one guy that intrigues me but we never see him talk. It's hard to say who will bolt. And can Nick really stick around once the men find out? How will Shawn deal with this? I really can't wait to find out what happens.
Britt Update
Britt's mom calls it: Brady is in the friendzone. I bet the producers were like: Just date him until you do a hometown, then dump him. We'll pay you. Maybe Britt should come back to the group, post-Brady dumpage. Now that would be interesting!
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| This dog wants to know how this will all sort out |
Drink Guinness, and see ya next week!
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